The denizens of Loregok want a champion with striking looks, not to mention easy merchandising. Picture your signature look advertised on video streaming platforms everywhere. A look that took you days to earn, hours to perfect, and minutes to share, will now be skipped in seconds. Which of your looks will make those seconds last a lifetime?
Complete dungeons to increase your Road to Stardom level for new sponsorships or additional looks. Extra ambitious Contenders can earn additional fame, experience, and gold through Triumphs such as wielding specific weapons. These challenges rotate often, incentivising success across diverse gameplay options. Ironlaw Plaza is filled with eccentric characters eager to help themselves by supporting Contenders like you. You can pick a favourite, but you’ll want to frequent each denizen for new weapons, outfits, and emotes.
Rosaline Rage: Road to Stardom
Back in her glory days, Coach Rosaline Rage was a member of the hit Contender group, The Crowns. If you didn’t have a Crowns poster on your bedroom wall, were you even alive? Strong, heavy, and able to smash any enemy to pieces with one drop of a fist, Rage charged into dungeons first to disperse huge thralls of enemies for her team. She knows KOMTV inside out, and uses her industry know-how to guide the player and get them perks. But power is only the gateway to what she really wants, the truth.
Why did The Crowns split up? What happened in that tragic episode when all of Loregok witnessed the death of Rage’s beloved teammate, Idra Ironlaw? Something about KOMTV’s story does sit right with Rage. She doesn’t know what happened, but she does know she’s going to find out.
Professor Beak: Glory Moves
Professor Beak runs the show at Regulated Effects Inc, where licensed Glory Moves are nothing short of magic. It’s completely legal and definitely science. It’s just coincidence that sufficiently complicated science is indistinguishable from magic.
"At Regulated Effects, we’re big believers in zero waste. Seriously, we don’t waste a single organ that comes our way."
Professor Beak is a concoction of respected, suspected, and avian-complected. She has multiple PhDs. Her first was in Magic Distillation with a thesis on being stubborn enough to boil it down to the last drops. Not easy when the drops are sentient. Professor Beak’s motives are clear: stay alive forever so she can bask in everyone else’s misery and existential dread.
Her woowoo wellness might sound like a load of quack, but with the support of Regulated Effects Glory Moves, you will be able to summon giant horse legs from the sky, belch your friends into oblivion, or explode a real hot potato. You can’t sue them, it’s listed in the side effects.
Keith Vertex: Emotes
Like the rest of the Bonepickers union, Keith took on vast debts in life, and should have been doomed to a life of getting smashed to bits in the Koliseum to pay everything off. Instead, he’s out front at the Bonepickers Club, and has had a disco installed inside his head for 24/7 beats. Underdogs by name, under-dirt by nature, the Bonepickers have the best deals on emotes. All proceeds directly support the union’s struggling skellies.
"You know how we get to be skeletons? Well, first you die and all your meat falls off, obviously. But your debt, your debt lives on! Necromancers are loan sharks. You borrow money, they borrow your afterlife."
Keith Vertex is King of Meat’s very own political powerhouse and necro-hacktivist. He’s full of pent up emotion, and you can share the pain, excitement, or epic dance moves by buying a Body Thought or Word Thought off him. The Undead have been oppressed for centuries, forced to work off the debts accrued in life in the dungeons of King of Meat, and Keith reckons that is absolute skull-duggery.
Harley Glowfinger: Tonics
Ancient knowledge stirs deep within Harley Glowfinger. Harley can feel the urge for greatness dozing in your soul, Contender, and he can help you awaken it. Don’t look too close, he’s just a humble run-of-the-mill guy who loves to disguise accoutrements revved up on the cosmic truth. He just trades in Tonics, it’s innocent really. Don’t go shouting about it though, you won’t be special any more.
"Me? A wizard? Oh no, I'm just a nobody who knows a thing or two about Tonics and reforging the very fabric of reality to do my bidding. In a totally non-magical and legally compliant way, of course."
Adjusting his sunglasses, sorcery swirls in Harley’s golden orbs. Ancient runes are hidden under his long overcoat sleeves. There is definitely no magic up them. When Harley invites you into his hideout, a stash of unlicensed Tonics lay for the taking like a treasure trove. The Department of Magic Control may believe that Harley’s tonics are just ancient herbal remedies, rather than magic. They are definitely actually magic, but Harley says it is more like opening your Grandma’s biscuit tin. You know you shouldn’t have them, but you want them nonetheless.
Zark Tongworth: Weapon Upgrades
Zark Tongworth is obsessed with commercial upgrades, weapon kill stats, user reviews and anything that means success for Golden Anvil. Deep down, Zark is worried he's not good enough for Golden Anvil… but if he isn’t, who is?
"Contender! I, Zark Tongworth, loyal representative of Golden Anvil, am your guide to all things weaponry. A mentor perhaps, maybe even a sort of husband... no, I have said too much."
Zark Tongworth is the representative of Golden Anvil. Everything he touches turns to gold. He may be snobby and imperious, but that’s business. If Contenders are left to believe their Wooden Sword and Shield are “fine,” how can they be expected to realise they desire upgrades? Not to worry, Golden Anvil can smith a king from an average person, just as gold can be spun from straw.
Golden Anvil are proud developers of the most commanding weapons around. Who doesn’t want to golf swing some of those pesky Skeletons into oblivion with a sausage hammer? Or skewer the emoji-spewing heart of a Gristle with a golden sword? No matter the weapon, they’re sleek, they’re dangerous, and Golden Anvil hopes you have insurance. Hey, they have a package for that!
Orsa Featherweight: Looks
Despite her name, Orsa Featherweight bears the heavyweight belt of the retail industry. Championing the avant-garde to the smart-casual, you can spare a gold piece for a morsel of Orsa’s inventory and you will be dressed to kill. Now, Orsa can teach you about fashion, but style is something you must learn yourself.
"Fashion has to reflect who you are, so don't be a loser. It'll seep into your clothes and it's near impossible to get out in the wash."
Orsa’s life has been spent traversing the Big Screen and migrating from Golden Platters to the edges of the Disc-Trays. She has taken all of these worldly influences to create different weapons, outfits, and stickers. Mix and match different looks until you find the perfect look. Remember, style speaks louder than success.
The Bartender: Triumphs
The Bartender saw an opportunity, complete his Triumphs and he will reward you handsomely. It’s very important to him, and his family, that you are as barbaric and maniacal as possible, you know, for popularity purposes
"I sometimes wonder if there is more to life than being stood behind a bar. Perhaps there is a reason I have never left here in five centuries. If you figure it out, please tell me."
Being The Bartender certainly helps if you want to be in the know about King of Meat. He’s a very popular man, and it’s definitely for his wicked sense of humour, not because it’s happy hour. Have you heard his joke about adding crème de menthe to brandy? It’s a Stinger. You’d be surprised how many of the Production Crew and Enemy Cast spill their guts over the bar, the Skeletons can’t help it you see. It’s technically not considered drinking alone if The Bartender is there, and it’s easier to swallow your pride when you’re washing it down with a little liquid courage.
Thane Goretusk: Delivery Service
Beast Shall Ride (BSR) is King of Meat’s very own delivery service. Familiar to everyone who has seen even a minute of the show, they are dominating the gig-economy. Never again will you need to avert your eyes from the screen to grab a cool glass of Troll’s Blood, BSR will be at your door in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. If the lamb is lucky enough to live that long.
Thane Goretusk, the beast who runs the plaza storefront, barks orders as the new representative of BSR. Representing the wild at heart, Thane has put the pedal to the metal and turned the needle into the red.
"What's that I smell? Ambition? Tempting, but come back when you're a little more...seasoned."
Further bolstering the customisation selection are special items available at BSR in exchange for Stamps. Stamps are a form of currency that can be earned through gameplay, including events and Triumphs. Stamps can also be obtained from the Xbox, PlayStation, and Steam stores. Thane will gladly take them off your hands with instantaneous item delivery.
King of Meat releases on Steam, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X|S on October 7, 2025. Aspiring Contenders can pre-order King of Meat: Standard Edition or King of Meat: Deluxe Edition now for bonus content like the Venerable Defender Legendary Costume, a fearsome samurai-style outfit, with matching sword, shield, and stickers, plus up to 5 days of early access.
